szzzt: You know Wufei is appalled. Oh NOES! (wufei_noes)
[personal profile] szzzt
This is most of my personal GW fic rant, which is not so much a manifesta as a drinking game.

I really only posted this to try out my new icon. Please don't anyone make a voodoo doll of me...When I eventually release some GW fic into the nets, you will see I commit plenty of infelicities of my own. Just not these particular ones.


GEM COLORS
Because eyes are not eyes, but jewels. Except Heero's.
There's a lack of 03 04 here... Guess you can see what numbers I read.


  • amethyst / hyacinth / Prussian blue / violet-blue / "an odd blue"
  • Prussian blue / cobalt blue / "two pits lined with hard cobalt" / midnight blue
  • emerald / verdant
  • turquoise / cornflower-blue
  • onyx / obsidian / fiery obsidian / "dark" / velvet dark / sloe / sable / ebony




THE AUTHORITATIVE FANFIC POINTS CALCULATOR
Play along with me!


>

the [nationality] [noun]

the American [noun] -5 Dude, Duo is not American. He's from L2. If L2 was in Hetalia, he would stab America with a shiv and steal his food and clothes.
the [nationality] boy -5 ...don't rub my face in it...
the Chinese teen -1 *grudging*
the Japanese pilot -0 alright, this is okay
the Arabian [noun] -2 With additional penalties for "boy"
the French pilot -0 Funnily enough, I've never seen this one!
the L2 pilot +1 Mutatis mutandis.
the Chinese man -0 Not *bad*, but argh... if you have to settle for this, why bother?
the green-eyed one +1 *snerk*

the braided [noun]

-2 On principle
the braided boy -5
the braided American -5
the braided menace +2 Acceptable!
"ready to bite off that braided head" +10 Let's all plagiarize Maldoror
the braided head case +2 Also acceptable!
other-pilot variations +2 The ponytailed, the tank-topped, the vested, the banged, etc.

Doormat Duo

-50

Doormat Quatre

-20

Doormat Wufei

-100 Doormat Heero or Trowa might be in character. Convince me.
"Oh my Allah" syndrome -10 Per offense
Use of "koi" as pet name -5 Per offense ("I love you, fish!")
unjustified phobias -15 Fear of water, etc. See "Doormat" section.

OOC Wufei

-50 I decide what OOC is (currently this includes both Asshole Wufei and China Doll Wufei), but you get +49 back if I like him anyway.
Gunfights/action scenes +10 Each!
Gundam battles +5 Only if exciting
Sword fights +10 Each!
Knife fights +20 Each!
Meat hook fights +30 I love you forever

"One pilot is treated unfairly by (all) the others, who feel very guilty when they realize" genre

If poor schlub is Duo -20 Got that T-shirt... but a knife fight will set you right
If poor schlub is Wufei +10 Good start!
If poor schlub is Heero +5 Intriguing!
If poor schlub is Quatre/Trowa +4 Make me care... I'll help you!


Use of Japanese by pilots who don't know it

-5 Per offense
By Duo -10
By Wufei -20
Bad fangirl Japanese -10 (cumulative)
At pivotal pillowtalk moment -15 (cumulative)
Use of Chinese by Wufei +5 No points deducted for bad Chinese!




PHRASES THAT EXIST
What color is toast?

throbbing member
caramel face
toast-colored lips
violet saucers [for eyes]
buds [nipples]
verdant gaze (actually, I like this one)
sweet nubbin [nipple]
koi [as an endearment] [used a LOT]
persian eyed boy (typo for "Prussian"??)

  • the facades of over brilliant chipperness
  • the viscous knife of indecision
  • Treize was a man who cared so deeply that no one could understand him.
  • Then, realization struck from behind.
  • The man aimed at ducked it.
  • cotton-candy darkness
  • "It's OK, buddy. I know. Sex doesn't fix clinical depression. But I'm glad it made you feel better for a while."



PHRASES THAT DO NOT EXIST BUT SHOULD

  • His eyes pierced me, like a device with high mechanical advantage
  • the steely flints [flinty steels?] of his eyes struck sparks that fell into limpid pools and fizzled
  • Duo tugged his braid and folded his arms obstinately. Men! He didn't understand them!
  • Heero sighed. He wished Wufei were here. Wufei always knew how to talk to girls.

Date: 2010-12-11 02:00 am (UTC)
kkamagwi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kkamagwi
I just remembered that I hadn't checked out your list of fanfic terminology yet. So I did.

THIS IS THE BEST CHART EVER, and I laughed so much! Did you read a fic with meat hook fights, then? And if not, will you write one?

"Toast-colored lips" is still the best and I will remember it forever. Although "cotton-candy" darkness and the idea of Treize caring so deeply nobody can understand him comes close.

Sometimes I wish there were a dignified word for "nipple."

If I write a Zechs/Noin fic I plan use the extended flint, flame, and pools metaphor. Also, those last two lines cracked me up.

I will be coming back to this post many times, I expect. Thanks for sharing. :D

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szzzt: Sepia-toned and androgynous, an angel crouches, its braid and long earring swaying. (Default)
szzzt

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